I have a terrible penchant for developing amnesia about
our great relationship whenever a grievance arises. I’m sure this
tendency is magnified by pregnancy hormones that sometimes leave me questioning
my sanity, but there is never a time where I am truly out of control. I always
have the ability to rein in my emotions, but I choose not to because I choose
not to practice self-control and like
to indulge in reopening wounds. But I love you more than these petty things, so
I’m going to do better, with the grace of God.
It would be easy to create a Hallmark card listing the generalities
of your stellar character (such as your modesty, economy, and other…amiable qualities*),
but in the heat of an angry moment,the hated amnesia hits. Thinking about how “great”
you have always been is too abstract for me to grasp. I need something firm to
hang on to when I am in the midst of an internal storm, lest I fall overboard
and you come home to wife who is in pain and wet and hysterical*. So I am making a list of all the
little kindnesses you showed me just this weekend, so I can reach out and grab
them when another storm hits.
-
You brought home dinner at my request after you
had worked a very long, tiring day Friday.
-
You made an amazing pasta dinner on Saturday,
and I’m still enjoying leftovers!
-
You cleaned the kitchen until the laminate
sparkled ;) and took out our notoriously foul trash.
-
You gave me time to talk a long walk
in nature, take a nap, and later sip iced coffee while listening to snarky, hilarious
weekend shows on NPR. Alone. Such a gift.
-
You listened to me talk about thoughts and
feelings with patience and offered insight and wisdom.
-
You worked over the weekend, but managed to
balance time at home with work so we didn’t feel deprived. This means you
probably didn’t get much rest or relaxation for yourself!
-
You gave our son all the rough play he needed so
my big ol’ pregnant self could have a break from head butting, body slams, and being
treated like a jungle gym in general.
-
You let me sleep in on Sunday and go to a later
Mass!
-
You stayed up late with me to clean on Sunday
night so I could have an easy Monday. I doubt you are having an easy Monday
with your workload.
-
You watched “Say Yes to the Dress” with me after
we finished cleaning and together we made biting commentary about the state of bridal
fashion.
-
There’s more, no doubt, that I’m already
forgetting, but these sweet offerings to our marriage are not lost on me, and I
will hug them tight whenever I experience frustration or doubt. Whenever I
think I’ve got the heavier load to carry. Whenever I forget that this is a
Sacrament and not a competition.
I love you so much and am very, very grateful that God
called me to marriage with you. There’s no one I’d rather share my twisted
brain with. And now the rest of the internet knows, and you have permanent written proof that can be used as evidence against me in a court of law :)
Lots of squishy cuddles,
Your
Wife
A note to readers who aren’t
my husband:
I’ve read parenting-type magazines where a writer will
actually advise a woman to neither thank nor acknowledge her husband’s
contributions around the house, since he should be “doing these things anyway”, and no one is handing out prizes to mothers
who do what is necessary to keep the home clean and welcoming. I could take
this attitude…..and live in constant bitterness, or I could be appreciative that my man, who works long hours at a
tough job that is mentally and emotionally grueling, comes home with a smile on
his face and basically takes care of anything I need him to do. A little alone
time so I can exercise? Done. An I.O.U. on dinner because I was at the zoo all
day with our son? No biggie. A listening ear when I talk about my struggles –
before I’ve heard how his day went?
Yep. All of these things deserve my thankfulness.
* Name the movies these lines are from and I will mentally shake hands with you.
Well, one is Pride and Prejudice!
ReplyDeleteAnd, great post!! :)